Been awake for what seems like days. Can’t sleep. I can never sleep the night before a flight. I haven’t even finished my packing yet. Can’t be arsed with it. This isn’t like me. No lists or any sort of organization. Well I started a list, but I left it on camp.

Bring on the fucking beach already.

Listening to: Lady Gaga – Christmas Tree

Listening to: Avril Lavigne – Mobile

The last week has been emotional. This force protection role is a lot more to handle than I’d originally thought.

My back is in clip from wearing osprey/webbing/weapon/metal detectors/radios etc all week.

Urghgghdfsdk. It wasn’t a particularly hard exercise, but it was stressful. And cold.

Speaking of cold…. endex was called yesterday morning. We left the training area at 4/5pm. I was in the second packet in the convoy, driving a land rover w/ trailer about 5 vehicles from the front. We made it to the M11, then one of the wheels on my trailer locked. It has done this before, so I don’t know why t wasn’t fixed.

Seeing as there was loads of vehicles behind us in the convoy, and neither my co-driver or I had a phone, we decided to light up the rover on the hard shoulder with hazards and try to flag down the passing convoy with cyalumes.

Every fucker just drove right past us. When you’re in a convoy drive, especially at the end of exercise, your only concern is staying behind the truck infront.

Eventually a Sgt in another packet stopped, got comms with the REME guys at the very rear of the convoy and asked them to help us. Unfortunately they were in a normal truck rather than a recovery vehicle, so they just called an MOD helpline that’s set up for such break downs. Eventually, after a lot of waiting on the hard shoulder, an AA truck came and took the trailer back to camp for us, leaving me to drive back to camp. Easy as pie, I thought

Wrong Got stuck in shit loads of traffic on the M25 due to the blizzard that fell. There were trucks just stopped randomly in the middle of the carriageway that I had to snake in and out of. At some points, the fast lane couldn’t be seen due to the amount of snow, so people just kept to one/two lanes. When there was just one clear lane (tarmac visible) and everyone was on that because they were afraid to crash, I took my rover on the snowy lane It did just fine all the way up the M4. I filled up with diesel because it was getting dangerously low, then we were about 5miles away from our junction off the M4 when smoke just starts coming out of the bonnet. We both thought it was on fire, so I pulled into the hard shoulder and we legged it. Had to walk miles till the nearest SOS phone. Then (after a lot of waiting in a blizzard with no heating) some AA guy took us on the back of his truck to the nearest services. Then we had to phone the MOD people again. More waiting in a blizzard with no heating. Then a guy FINALLY came with a truck to take us to camp. He was lowering the ramp when he got a call saying he couldn’t take us because of bad road conditions and that the job was being passed onto the AA. The bastards who abandoned us there in the first place.

By then, it was about 3am. We were both broken. No sleep, hardly any food and no heat. We couldn’t leave the rover because we had weapons and radios to guard, so we took turns in the services which just had one shop open.

The MOD people sent an AA mechanic guy round. He came and told us what we already knew – the fan belt was fucked, thus fucking the coolant, thus over heating. So he called for another AA truck to take us back to camp. By the time he arrived, it was 7am. We were both dying.

Boss man was nice enough to let me off early when I got back. All I did was hand over the rover (in bits), clean my weapon, then fuck off. No work ’till 4th Jan, woop woop.

My eyes are now bleeding from writing this long unnecessary post… I just wanted to put that horrific story down somewhere. That may have been the worst drive of my life. It was certainly the coldest. I had no idea it could snow so much in a 16hr period. Which is how long the journey took. The route card said it shouldn’t taken 4hrs.

IT’S SHOWER TIME.

Listening to: Sum 41 – Fat Lip

I’m deploying on exercise on Friday morning now instead of Saturday night. So I have to pack for that AND for the holiday that I’m going on right after the exercise. I’ll hardly have time to charge my iPod before I get on the plane.

My week long sick chit for this week from the car crash on Friday was a total waste. We’re not even doing any PT. We are playing a big computer game though:

It’s like a LAN party, but with really boring strict people in charge.

Listening to: Los Campesinos! – You! Me! Dancing!

Had a stressful week doing pointless things such as getting stuck in mud and getting cold as top cover:

Then today we had mega stress trying to get out of camp. We had to put the vehicles back together. Then we had to get our hung over colleague up and ready to leave. Then we had to sort out the hire cars. Then our hire car got a sticker on the window for parking illegally on camp. Then the guys got in trouble for not cleaning their room before leaving, so they had to go back and clean it… it was like everything was against us leaving.

Then we finally got out of there And after being a bit scared by the chef’s diving, this happened:

There was a crash on the opposite side of the road, so cars on our side were slowing to watch… the cars in front of us slowed right down, so we had to brake pretty fast. The car behind us must not have reacted quickly enough and slammed into the back of us. I was sat in the back left passenger seat, so I got most of the impact >_<

Urgh, FML.

You’d think that after a crash ike that, I’d drive home carefully. Nah. I was so sick of being on the road that I speeded like I’d never speeded before. Racing down the M40 singing along to Jimmy Eat World. Yeah. That’s how I roll.

Listening to: Rachael Cantu – Your Hips Are Bad

Been stuck up in Catterick since Sunday now. On a course that is utterly pointless. All I’ve learnt is how to stand up on the back of a land rover with no roof and freeze to death.
I was hoping that id get RTU’d (returned to unit) for not having my helmet, but since the course is so poorly managed, no one really cares.

Originally when we got heee, I was going to be in female accomadation, but that was locked. Being the only. Female on course (and the only female on camp, its infantry), I’m just in a single room on the same corridor as the rest of my troop who are here. This means sharing a bathroom. Wouldn’t be so much of a drama, but the showers don’t have curtains/doors.

On the 20th Dec, I will fly to The Philippines ^_^ Can’t wait. It’s only just hit me how soon that is. We on exercise from the 12th to the 18th and we’ll probably be working that Saturday 19th, so I’ll have to pack my bags… when I get back from Catterick next weekend. Actually, we’ll probably be working the day I fly, but I’ll still leave none the less. AWOL FTW. I think the most punishment you can get for one day of AWOL is an AGAI, so it’ll totally be worth it.

I’m going up to Catterick for a wmik crew course. I’m gunner. I hope it doesn’t rain, those things have no roofs. Actually, I hope it doesn’t roll over during cross-country, that’s a sure way to die as top-cover.

Listening to: Black Eyed Peas – The Apl Song

Can’t wait for the weekend, this week has been so long, what with the PFT & CFT. It has given me the confidence that I can pass them, but I am a broken person for it. Everything hurts. A lot. I just want to lay in bed all of Saturday and recover.

Cycled to tesco today. Just to see how long it’d take. 15-20mins, around the same time it takes in the car with traffic/parking. It hurt going uphill though, especially on the way back. Shouldn’t of bought that 2ltr bottle of tropical juice >_<

Listening to: Jens Lekman – Maple Leaves (7″ Version)

I’ve only gone and passed my CFT It was had work though. My ankle kept going on the muddy bits and I got simultaneous cramp in both calves towards the end. “I’ve never heard so much swearing from a young lady before“, remarked one of the Sgt’s who was cheering me on. He kept getting my name wrong, but his intentions were good. That was all that got me through the 2hr ordeal, friends cheering me on. When I’d start dropping back, I’d hear, “C’on Jess! Don’t give up now, get up there!“.

Had the best bacon sandwich of my life when I got back to my room I’m scared to take my boots off, I can feel the blisters. Shall be walking like a penguin for the rest of the week.

Injection tomorrow, so no PT. Wooooooo.

Listening to: Bowling For Soup – I Gotchoo

Passed my PFT (personal fitness test) yesterday. Tomorrow we have a CFT (combat fitness test). I’m not very combat fit. Not at all. The PFT I can handle because the press-ups & sit-ups are easy. Even if you don’t get enough, your partner counting will probably add a few on for you if they’re kind enough. The 1.5mile run only lasts as long as you want it to (no more than 13mins for femmes). With the CFT though, it lasts for aaaages. You’re supposed to take long strides but I have wee little legs so I end up running most the way. Urgh. Shoulda joined the RAF.

Money has become an issue. I don’t know what I’ve spent it all on, but it has gone somewhere. I have just over a fiver to my name ’till the end of the month. The food in my room that has to last until then consists of:

• packet of smash
• x4 potato waffles
• x1 chicken fillet
• half a bag of salad
• half a bag of crutons
• blue cheese dressing
• carton of mango juice
• butter
• milk
• x4 packets of oatmeal
• x3 packets of ramen
• an MRE
• a muffin

Just the fact that I’m on rations is making me more hungry.

Watching: CO-OP – MW2